Post by joesbo on Oct 16, 2013 9:38:38 GMT -8
A weird thing about me ~ I am (supposedly) a couple days away from receiving a considerable financial windfall ~ One-time only (it's apparently some inheritances from my father that were lost , one of those " we find your lost inheritances for you " outfits sought me out , I gave my consent , they claim its in now and I'll get 2/3 , they take 1/3 , yeah yeah yeah but , frankly , I'd never have heard about it at all if they hadn't have contacted me and besides what's done is done already .) , and for me , it's a considerable amount - But it's nowhere near , oooh , Larry Ellison's tips for the weekend or Puff Daddy's bottle service bill for one night .
Briefly , I don't think that it will make me non-homeless .
I think that it will be enough ~ I hope ~ To basically clean myself up , get a rest , go to another state (Which I have been wishing to do) , and , having got there , basically start a new homeless existence maybe with some money in the bank for splurges/expenses if I have to bail myself out and some storage and maybe a few things and having got a new wardrobe* (I'm thinking of going to areas colder than the Greater S.F. Bay Area , sooo...) , etcetera...........I'm afraid the only way I will ever be non-homeless would be: (1) Falling into some " program/nice place " . (2) Some sort of and this more laps over into " If I am ever no be non-homeless and some degree of ' supporting myself '..."...that , " supporting myself " , would take an extended period of going back to college** and , whether through direct education/degrees , or , just what might happen along the way , falling into/working my way up through-into some situation where I am self-supporting - And among other things that would require a massive amount of as-many-grants-as-I-can-get education , which some others who are professionals at this would have to track down for me , I certainly am not equipped to do it for myself , " retraing/educating myself " situation
??...Maybe, In A New Town I could start this all up ! Now , maybe I'm a little fixated emotionally on remaking myself into somebody's idea of a Loveable Homeless Dude , maybe that's an emotional " looing for a daddy/mommy " issue I have with myself , and maybe this post is rambling enough already...
The , practically speaking , amount of the windfall would be somewhat reduced by the fact that:
(A) I have decided that I had better " follow the letter of the law " and , once I have the money and it is in the bank above the amount that you are not suppose to get SSD anymore if you have over (Is it $2,000.00 ?) in the bank , tell them , but then , as soon as I have gotten to where I am going to , start getting back on SSD - Even to the point of , if nessecary , paying an SS benefits-specializing lawyer to sprinkle some fookin' fairy dust on it (Not in the sense of " Do something liilegal/unethical ' " just in the sense of " Work within the system , playuh' , play da game da way da game is played , sprinkle some money in the right direction " , and get me back on , with me back as my payee now instead of the (For one thing ~) money-consuming " ATM withdrawal fees " payee situation I am in now (Really , because of a crooked social services agency that is one of the reasons San Francisco is burned out for me !!! )
(B) Likewise , if there's any tax I have to pay on it ~ I suppose there might be ~ pay it .
I don't care to emulate Wesley Snipes/Ronnie Isley/Lauryn Hill/Chuck Berry/Martha Stewart , I've done time already and don't need any additional " Club Fed " tax prison cred...I can't imagine that such an " official " payment of money to me would escape Big-Time notice . Perhaps my being such a Good Lil' Homeless Bum might make Big Daddy more sympathetic to getting me back on the federal tit ?
There I go , my Mommy/Daddy issues again:-)...
*-And picking up a couple of (in modern times) necessities , like some sorta cell-smartphone and some kind of laptop/tablet/Netbook - Kevin (appropriately enough , for HE is The Big Boss here - :-) - is ahead of me on both computer skills a, and access/material posessions thusly ~
**-Briefly: I never full-out " went to college at , or after , " the proper time " tho' I did half-assedly go . A little . All in the pre-Internet era and all in New York State , 3,000 miles away , as it happens...And my such records , as well as records of tests I took , are lost at present , though I DO think they could be found with some effort....Not to be expected to be done by me , again . By contrast , my parents (born in the 1920s) graduated and had (I am sure) BAs . I tend to hold myself/compare myself to that , and feel down .
And over the lack of " the college experience " , too . Definitely . Fine , I am an immature person , let's accept it and roll with it !!! I want to go to college !
Briefly , I don't think that it will make me non-homeless .
I think that it will be enough ~ I hope ~ To basically clean myself up , get a rest , go to another state (Which I have been wishing to do) , and , having got there , basically start a new homeless existence maybe with some money in the bank for splurges/expenses if I have to bail myself out and some storage and maybe a few things and having got a new wardrobe* (I'm thinking of going to areas colder than the Greater S.F. Bay Area , sooo...) , etcetera...........I'm afraid the only way I will ever be non-homeless would be: (1) Falling into some " program/nice place " . (2) Some sort of and this more laps over into " If I am ever no be non-homeless and some degree of ' supporting myself '..."...that , " supporting myself " , would take an extended period of going back to college** and , whether through direct education/degrees , or , just what might happen along the way , falling into/working my way up through-into some situation where I am self-supporting - And among other things that would require a massive amount of as-many-grants-as-I-can-get education , which some others who are professionals at this would have to track down for me , I certainly am not equipped to do it for myself , " retraing/educating myself " situation
??...Maybe, In A New Town I could start this all up ! Now , maybe I'm a little fixated emotionally on remaking myself into somebody's idea of a Loveable Homeless Dude , maybe that's an emotional " looing for a daddy/mommy " issue I have with myself , and maybe this post is rambling enough already...The , practically speaking , amount of the windfall would be somewhat reduced by the fact that:
(A) I have decided that I had better " follow the letter of the law " and , once I have the money and it is in the bank above the amount that you are not suppose to get SSD anymore if you have over (Is it $2,000.00 ?) in the bank , tell them , but then , as soon as I have gotten to where I am going to , start getting back on SSD - Even to the point of , if nessecary , paying an SS benefits-specializing lawyer to sprinkle some fookin' fairy dust on it (Not in the sense of " Do something liilegal/unethical ' " just in the sense of " Work within the system , playuh' , play da game da way da game is played , sprinkle some money in the right direction " , and get me back on , with me back as my payee now instead of the (For one thing ~) money-consuming " ATM withdrawal fees " payee situation I am in now (Really , because of a crooked social services agency that is one of the reasons San Francisco is burned out for me !!! )
(B) Likewise , if there's any tax I have to pay on it ~ I suppose there might be ~ pay it .
I don't care to emulate Wesley Snipes/Ronnie Isley/Lauryn Hill/Chuck Berry/Martha Stewart , I've done time already and don't need any additional " Club Fed " tax prison cred...I can't imagine that such an " official " payment of money to me would escape Big-Time notice . Perhaps my being such a Good Lil' Homeless Bum might make Big Daddy more sympathetic to getting me back on the federal tit ?
There I go , my Mommy/Daddy issues again:-)...
*-And picking up a couple of (in modern times) necessities , like some sorta cell-smartphone and some kind of laptop/tablet/Netbook - Kevin (appropriately enough , for HE is The Big Boss here - :-) - is ahead of me on both computer skills a, and access/material posessions thusly ~
**-Briefly: I never full-out " went to college at , or after , " the proper time " tho' I did half-assedly go . A little . All in the pre-Internet era and all in New York State , 3,000 miles away , as it happens...And my such records , as well as records of tests I took , are lost at present , though I DO think they could be found with some effort....Not to be expected to be done by me , again . By contrast , my parents (born in the 1920s) graduated and had (I am sure) BAs . I tend to hold myself/compare myself to that , and feel down .
And over the lack of " the college experience " , too . Definitely . Fine , I am an immature person , let's accept it and roll with it !!! I want to go to college !